People have been writing about how evil scalar functions are in SQL Server for ten years. But people still use scalar functions in their code all the time. And not dumb people, either: smart people do this, too. I bet you they’re in your codebase. Good people write bad database code for many reasons: Bad code patterns often look simple and elegantSmart people re-use code patterns, so when a bad pattern gets into your code, it tends to spreadMost people, even smart people, aren’t great at remembering loads of gotchas, especially if they need to work in multiple languages or in multiple areas of specialization This is why I’m so excited about Microsoft’s new Intelligent Query Processing features for SQL Server: they are upping their game and working to make your existing code run better. But, with all new things, you may need to be careful. If you’re curious to…

We’ve got a session coming up in the free Redgate Streamed virtual conference on, “How database DevOps levels up remote work.” When thinking about that session I began thinking about other ways to improve remote work. While I worked remotely for nearly ten years until recently and have established practices which work well for me , moving to another country and the general chaos and uncertainty right now as the world tries to cope with a global pandemic have increased my feelings of worry and loneliness. I have found that certain folks in my Twitter feed help me feel connected, combat my worry, and also add some good old fashioned nerdiness to my day. They level up my remote work day! If you could use a few more connections in your life and would like to get started on Twitter, I highly recommend following these friendly folks who love working…

Photo by Brandi Redd on Unsplash I’m giving a session on index tuning at the upcoming Redgate Streamed free online conference. The conference will be held April 1-3 2020, register here and join us! I love talking about index tuning and I know this area well, so I’m excited to put together this new session. I thought it would be fun to share my process of outlining and creating the session, leading up to the event. The session title and abstract I wrote this week is… Index Tuning in an Agile World Software developers increasingly work across databases and applications, and there are fewer and fewer dedicated database developers each year. This produces a new opportunity for database administrators and developers who are interested in performance: the role of the incremental index tuner. In this session you will learn a framework for developing and tuning indexes in SQL Server, and how to apply…

We’re thrilled to announce Redgate Streamed: a 3 day online virtual community conference, to be held April 1-3, 2020. Register at Redgate.com/RedgateStreamed In this 9 minute livestream, I give you a rundown of the event schedule and tells you why I’m excited about each session. For every registration that attends Redgate streamed, live or on-demand, we’ll donate $1 to the World Health Organization’s COVID-19 response fund (in addition to a separate donation we’ll be making. Even if you can’t join us live, be sure to register and you’ll receive the recordings to watch on-demand, plus you’ll help us raise our gift level!

https://unsplash.com/photos/wKhsnBy1DXc I’m introducing a series of “learner’s guides” — overviews of a given topic, chock full of links and references. For this first post, the information is based on what I learned when I was part of the team at Brent Ozar Unlimited who put together the original First Responder Kit and built a related consulting practice using those tools. In this post… What is performance triage, and when do we do it?Who does performance triage?“DMVs” revolutionized the way performance triage is doneSources for information in performance triageWhen is performance triage difficult?SQL Server Performance Triage ChecklistA frequent check: What’s happening now?Phase 1 – look for big gotchasPhase 2 – Narrow down: is it the infrastructure, is it the workload, or is it one query?Common mistakes and pitfallsHow is this evolving, and what does the future look like? What is performance triage, and when do we do it? Performance triage is…

Note: This post is based on an editorial I originally published over at SQL Server Central Years ago, I worked on a fabulous team of eight database administrators We supported more than a hundred developers who worked in an agile fashion. When I first joined the DBA team, we had a shared on-call rotation, but each DBA specialized in a certain area of the environment and regularly met with the development teams working on that area. DBA specializations rarely shifted. Over time, this created significant stressors Covering on-call for some areas became quite difficult in times of rapid change. It became impossible for someone to be out of the office for an extended period without delaying releases. When we got to the point that we had to decide whether or not to escalate a critical issue to someone who was attending a funeral, it was clearly time for a change.…